April 16, 2006

• Michael here in Stephenville.  Today was an emotional
  day.  Dena and her group had taken the RV to Lake Whitney and had
  asked me to come out there and spend the weekend with them.  I and
  the girls really wanted to go to Holder to spend Easter with Jerome and
  Ruth.  Joey's family and several others here in Stephenville
  invited me for Easter dinner.  I had so much that I needed to do,
  though, and I really didn't feel like socializing, so I stayed home,
  made me a batch of cole slaw so my cabbage wouldn't ruin, and that was
  my dinner. 

  This afternoon, Tom Post called, and we had a wonderful, happy, sad,
  laughing, crying visit.  He is such an incredible man, so much
  stronger than I am.  I hurt for him so much, but I was pleased to
  learn that Ann's passing was as gentle as it was.  They were
  married 31 years.

  Yesterday morning, I had a bizarre experience.  I woke up
  to find Lorena already up and gone.  I really needed to give her a
  hug and to tell her something, so I jumped out of bed and dressed
  quickly to go looking for her.  She wasn't in the bathroom ... or
  the kitchen ... so I headed outside to the patio where she often
  had her coffee watching the birds feeding and bathing.  Just
  as I realized she wasn't there, I remembered where she is, and it was
  as if someone had punched me in the stomach...  The knowledge of
  her condition and our situation was bad enough, but part of me flashed
  back to my sleep deprivation days when I seriously wondered about my
  sanity sometimes.

  At church this morning, everyone was asking about Lorena again, but
  some of their questions alarmed me a bit.  Lorena is still, for
  all intents and purposes, a quadriplegic who cannot stand, talk, feed
  herself, scratch an itch, or do anything for herself but breathe, spell
  [using a spelling board and "uh huhs"], and swallow.  I take
  that back.  She can indicate to the her nurses now when she needs
  to use the restroom so they can set her up on the potty chair -- and
  that is a HUGE improvement physically, psychologically, and
  emotionally.  Oh, yes; she can laugh, and that is perhaps the most
  important thing of all.  She can laugh.  Thank God, she can
  -- and does -- laugh...

  • 10:19 pm
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